Keepin' It Real Wit X: Zombie Apocalypse

Hello readers, allow me to re-reintroduce myself once again. I may be one of the most uninteresting people on the net. Some may know me from my past notes on Facebook called “Keepin’ it real wit X”, others may know me from twitter, Instagram, or some other mix. My name is Nixon, I go by Mr. X, Armani X, President X, among some other tags. I’m 23, in a relationship, college graduate, and I think that’s enough information. My blog posts are not to be viewed as fact but simply as opinion and you can share yours if you’d like in the form of a comment. Most of my opinions are derived from personal experience or observations. I was always told I should start a blog, and now that I have the free time I figured I would share the new thoughts and Ideas I have.

My first official blog post is going to address the “Zombie apocalypse”. I know the first thought that comes to mind is probably homie that was eating faces in Miami, but not exactly. But by the end of this post you might realize that you’re a zombie. I won’t front, I myself am a zombie trying to come back to life, let me explain. First lets define zombie :: goes on google ::…

zombie

zom·bie

noun

the body of a dead person given the semblance of life, but mute and will-less, by a supernatural force, usually for some evil purpose.

Informal.

a person whose behavior or responses are wooden, listless, or seemingly rote; automaton.

Well, now that we’ve got that out the way let’s see how many of us are, by definition zombies (although I clearly don’t mean in the literal sense). Let’s start with a scenario. You use that good ol swipe to unlock your good ol smart phone (assuming its touch screen) and you open that good ol twitter app to pass some time. You notice a retweet from one of your friends with either a thought provoking quote (we all love that social network Aristotle) or a funny statement. It’s normally that, or my favorite, some slander on a helpless victim. You click on to the originators timeline and he/she seems like the most interesting person in the world. Of course you going to click that follow button. Then you start clicking “favorite” on some tweets, hitting that RT for some, adding comments for others, and he/she hits that follow back. With enough chemistry, whether it’s the same sex or opposite, you guys either link up for a date, to chill or my favorite run into each other at some next mix. I guarantee one of you are probably not the same person you are online. 9 out of 10 people can’t carry a verbal conversation like they seemingly can with a handy dandy qwerty keyboard. Let’s refer back to this zombie definition

the body of a dead person given the semblance of life, but mute and will-less, by a supernatural force, usually for some evil purpose.

This evil purpose is to swindle, you are logged in to the matrix via your phone and your being is now encrypted into a social network. A majority of us are zombies. You’re living off of 300 anytime minutes just to call your job or parent that can’t text, unlimited data plan with unlimited texting and your thumb muscles are probably impeccable. You are one of the most lifeless boring people in person YET the life of the online party. Your @ name has become your surrogate and those that know the real you just shake their heads. Now you yearn for real life relationships and you don’t know how to continue being interesting. Here are a few problems you may face. 1. The time between a tweet when you twiddle your thumbs to think of a clever response, looks like you’re doing the Dora pause in person 2. You may be soft spoken so your jokes and statements don’t have the same impact in person 3. You’re so hooked on knowing what’s going on, online that even if someone is with you, you’re not paying them the required attention for a face to face relationship to work. Now, these interactions aren’t limited to social networks- there is also texting, trying to snap that next great thirst trap, or just trying to stay in with celeb gossip. Now one more time, lets glance back to the zombie definition.

Informal.

a person whose behavior or responses are wooden, listless, or seemingly rote; automaton.

That looking down and constant thumb movement is autonomous. Nothing in the outside world can keep you from responding that text, sending that tweet, or liking that picture on instagram. Now without cell phone battery life, tell me how many of your have friends, mates, or whatever, can you link up with, have fun with, and catch up on life? If a majority of the stories that you to share start with “ yo the other day on twitter…” or “ this chick on instagram…” what “life” are you really living. I’m guilty of being a zombie myself. I’m in recovery as we speak. It started with AOL when I had that dial up connection, then I graduated to a sidekick and my life was on aim. Away messages were like CNN, or in my case ebay (I was always selling something if not quoting a lyric or subbing someone) then it was the blackberry era, BBM pins were the new screen name. At least with nextels we had to speak verbally on that walkie talkie, as obnoxious as those speaker boxes were, but now with all these social networks, iphones and androids, we are just zombies with more outlets to be in touch with other zombies. Don’t get me wrong if your phone is helping you produce revenue or helping you pass the time in during your train ride or something, then by all means do you. But I mean, cellphone addicts, such as me, we got to do better. First step is admitting it right? I rambled long enough, what I do is dare you to try to be human again, pick up the phone and exercise your verbal conversation skills, exercise something other than your thumbs, LIVE LIFE. You don’t want to grow old and the only life experiences you have to share with your kids or grandchildren are jokes from twitter. “Bitches/N***as be like “ stopped being funny 3 weeks ago and it damn sure won’t be funny in the future.