friEND zone

Fri(end) Zone: The land of no return

As a male, personally, there are a few phrases that can come from a female that I hope never to hear/read. I composed a list of my top 10.

1.  We need to talk. (RARELY a good talk otherwise we’d just talk)
2. That’s it? (Makes me feel like I’m lacking)
3. Wrong hole. (Usually means you almost had anal)
4. Who is she to you? (If she doesn't already know, this means its story time)
5. What do you love about me? (Got to compile a list that doesn't make you sound like a user)
6.  You choose. (Now if you make the wrong decision, you will be carrying all blame.)
7. Do what you want. (Usually means do what she wants or suffer consequences)
8. … (You've exceeded the allotted time to answer a text)
9. We need a break. (Means you messed up so bad she may potentially want to touch a new peen to know if yours is worth the drama)
10.   We should just be friends. (This basically means you’re out of the game, you’re out for the season, your contract has been voided, and your career is over, no severance, no nothin.)

The friend zone is the graveyard for the confidence of many males. You can get friend zoned without notice and it is as rare as finding an Asian female that can drive well for you to get out of the friend zone. One of the worst things about a friend zone is that you can be placed there after investing time and money into something that you thought was going to work. Dates, sex, cuddling, gifts, don’t put you in the clear of the friend zone; it can also happen after a full-fledged relationship. I've heard of males putting females in the friend zone but females are the most commonly found using this “tactic". I don’t understand it, and I never plan to try to understand it because of the rationale that I've received for being put in the friend zone. If I was told “I don’t find you attractive” I would be able to accept that. If I was told “I can’t date someone with your personality” this is also acceptable.  If I was told “your stroke is whack/ your dick is small” this is also valid reasoning for not wanting to pursue a relationship cause guys will 86 girls for whack box. BUT “you’re too nice of a guy”,  “you’re like a brother “, “I’ll just end up hurting you”, “I’ll miss our friendship” – all of these statements are compost, bullshit, fertilizer, sewage, poo, whatever word you want to use for fecal matter and waste. The friend zone breeds jerks and asshole because being the sweet understanding fun loving guy usually is what gets you there. Efforts to be Mr./Mrs. Right often get you there so you end up transforming into Mr./Mrs. Right-Now. In my personal experience, females that I friend zone are actually people I can be straight up with and say “I’m not interested”, “You’re not my type”, and if I contradict myself and say “you’re like a sister” 9 out of 10 times this means they’re related to a close friend of mine and or because of one of the previous reasons we've just platonically hung out so much that you’re really just a friend or “sister”.

A valid argument that has been presented is that the Friend Zoner thought they liked the Friend Zonee but after a date or two realized they’d be better off as friends. If this is the case, once again, keep it real and make that clear in your explanation. Don’t leave the person in the dark. To wrap this up, I say keep it real. If there’s someone else say so, don’t tell someone you’d rather them be a friend because they’re doing everything right. This only sews seeds for the emotionally & socially damaged world we live in.

SPOTLIGHT

I'm gonna start doing a section called the Spotlight. Here, i'll put the spotlight on someone talented doing whatever they do as some light promo. For the first week I want to put the spotlight on a very talented friend of mine. He's not just another dude rapping, I don't cosign people I don't believe in. Goes by the name of "Crimes Da God", check out his latest music video that is shot by another talented individual (KP) both of whom I've had the pleasure of hanging out with in college. Coming out of Brooklyn, he got a mixtape coming out, look out for that "True Crimes". Subscribe, leave feedback, and of course keep it real.

Artist

IG: @crimesdagod

Twitter: @crimesdagod

Videographer

IG: @quick421

Twitter: @quick421

Obey Your Thirst

Obey Your Thirst

We are in the times where it is almost impossible to find a significant other without being self-conscious. The rules of engagement are so extensive that it’s easier to just make someone up than to meet and build with someone new.  We are in the age of DM’s, Screenshots, & Thirst Traps. Chivalry isn’t dead, it is on life support and many are trying to pull the plug. We are in the times of compliments equating to thirst, the wrong instagram like can be punishable by death, improper use of an emoji can land you in the hospital, and one has to choose their words oh so carefully when posting a comment. Some call it game, but these days the overall term for most of the aforementioned actions is “Thirst”.

The rule book has changed. I remember the days when flattery expressed interest. It was an attempt for the general population to try to keep away from the fri(end) zone. [Fri(end) zone post to come] And when the flattery was reciprocated it generally meant advancement to further courting stages.  For those of you unclear of the thirst definition, I pulled it from a credible source. Nah, not wiki, I got it from urbandictionary.com

Thirst:

• A form of lust of or want of members of the opposite sex(or same sex these days). This term can refer to both males and females.
• Very eager to say or do something Being unbelievably motivated by an outside stimulus... so much in fact it consumes your entire life
• Desire, greed, obsession, or lust for an object or person characterized by over eagerness or obsessiveness that is obvious to everyone around you.

I feel it’s safe to say we’ve done this to ourselves. Many of us have been toyed with, used, abused, hurt, and deceived so much that now we are currently in Sparta. Everyone has their defenses up to the point everything is characterized as a sexual advance. So the genuine people can’t get a break and scum is forced to find new methods of infiltration. These “sexual advances” include smiles, HI’s or any other greeting (beware of excess Y’s in your “Hey”), blinking, breathing, glancing, basically anything you do in the presence of the opposite sex is currently thirst #twitterlogic.  What it comes down to is thirst generally doesn’t get characterized as such if interest is reciprocated. Furthermore I believe the real thirst is actually the excess of anything. Moderation is perfection, don’t overdo it, but don’t under do it. The moderation varies from situation to situation though. I say this because some people have relationships where their world revolves around their significant other, so constant contact is a necessity. If that’s your situation then excess calls, texts and such is a go… FOR YOU. Others try to maintain some type of life outside of their relationship. This includes having work, school, and other engagements that may divert their attention from time to time from their relationship. So if their him/her is constantly seeking undivided attention then that’s not going to work. If you’re dating a social person who is attractive, you will notice a level of what I’d agree is thirst in others. People will constantly like and comment on this persons every move. The person will tweet “Hi” and a thirsty person will be overdoing it in their mentions with a “LMAOOOOO yoooo you said hi #weak” -_-. Don’t get insecure or defensive because the reply and attention this person wants is from YOU and the unwanted attention means nothing. All the other compliments are cool but it means nothing if the main squeeze isn’t checking for you. Thirst usually gets exploited through screenshots. These days some of the screenshots are fabricated. Personally I feel that the screenshot exploitation is doing the poster a disservice cause now if you decide you like someone they’re going to be real cautious with interactions with you in fear that they may be next to be put on blast. When it comes to social networks 9 out of 10 people aren’t who they’re depicting, the World Wide Web is a sea of catfish. To wrap this up, I feel like rather than constantly having our defenses up we need a filter to discern a genuine compliment, whether it be because the person is interested or is just complimenting, from those who just trying to see what’s good for the moment(Mr/Mrs Right vs Mr/Mrs Right NOW). Weed out the potential relationships from potential relations below the hips.