friEND zone

Fri(end) Zone: The land of no return

As a male, personally, there are a few phrases that can come from a female that I hope never to hear/read. I composed a list of my top 10.

1.  We need to talk. (RARELY a good talk otherwise we’d just talk)
2. That’s it? (Makes me feel like I’m lacking)
3. Wrong hole. (Usually means you almost had anal)
4. Who is she to you? (If she doesn't already know, this means its story time)
5. What do you love about me? (Got to compile a list that doesn't make you sound like a user)
6.  You choose. (Now if you make the wrong decision, you will be carrying all blame.)
7. Do what you want. (Usually means do what she wants or suffer consequences)
8. … (You've exceeded the allotted time to answer a text)
9. We need a break. (Means you messed up so bad she may potentially want to touch a new peen to know if yours is worth the drama)
10.   We should just be friends. (This basically means you’re out of the game, you’re out for the season, your contract has been voided, and your career is over, no severance, no nothin.)

The friend zone is the graveyard for the confidence of many males. You can get friend zoned without notice and it is as rare as finding an Asian female that can drive well for you to get out of the friend zone. One of the worst things about a friend zone is that you can be placed there after investing time and money into something that you thought was going to work. Dates, sex, cuddling, gifts, don’t put you in the clear of the friend zone; it can also happen after a full-fledged relationship. I've heard of males putting females in the friend zone but females are the most commonly found using this “tactic". I don’t understand it, and I never plan to try to understand it because of the rationale that I've received for being put in the friend zone. If I was told “I don’t find you attractive” I would be able to accept that. If I was told “I can’t date someone with your personality” this is also acceptable.  If I was told “your stroke is whack/ your dick is small” this is also valid reasoning for not wanting to pursue a relationship cause guys will 86 girls for whack box. BUT “you’re too nice of a guy”,  “you’re like a brother “, “I’ll just end up hurting you”, “I’ll miss our friendship” – all of these statements are compost, bullshit, fertilizer, sewage, poo, whatever word you want to use for fecal matter and waste. The friend zone breeds jerks and asshole because being the sweet understanding fun loving guy usually is what gets you there. Efforts to be Mr./Mrs. Right often get you there so you end up transforming into Mr./Mrs. Right-Now. In my personal experience, females that I friend zone are actually people I can be straight up with and say “I’m not interested”, “You’re not my type”, and if I contradict myself and say “you’re like a sister” 9 out of 10 times this means they’re related to a close friend of mine and or because of one of the previous reasons we've just platonically hung out so much that you’re really just a friend or “sister”.

A valid argument that has been presented is that the Friend Zoner thought they liked the Friend Zonee but after a date or two realized they’d be better off as friends. If this is the case, once again, keep it real and make that clear in your explanation. Don’t leave the person in the dark. To wrap this up, I say keep it real. If there’s someone else say so, don’t tell someone you’d rather them be a friend because they’re doing everything right. This only sews seeds for the emotionally & socially damaged world we live in.

SPOTLIGHT

I'm gonna start doing a section called the Spotlight. Here, i'll put the spotlight on someone talented doing whatever they do as some light promo. For the first week I want to put the spotlight on a very talented friend of mine. He's not just another dude rapping, I don't cosign people I don't believe in. Goes by the name of "Crimes Da God", check out his latest music video that is shot by another talented individual (KP) both of whom I've had the pleasure of hanging out with in college. Coming out of Brooklyn, he got a mixtape coming out, look out for that "True Crimes". Subscribe, leave feedback, and of course keep it real.

Artist

IG: @crimesdagod

Twitter: @crimesdagod

Videographer

IG: @quick421

Twitter: @quick421