Turn on the light

“Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness” Chinese proverb

Are you a complainer? Do you know a complainer? We all have friends, family, & acquaintances that love to give you an earful of their problems. It seems like nothing is ever going right in their lives. They never have money for anything, always hungry, their boss always on their case, pay checks never compensate for all of their hard work, car is always low on ger was and still “ain’t shit”, girlfriend forever nagging because of her insecurities, car always acting up, kids won’t listen, never have enough time, but they don’t realize all that complaining their doing- AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT! It’s like damn does ANYTHING ever go right in your life? We all love when someone lends an ear for us to vent but don’t forget to share the good news as well. I always say, when I don’t have anything remarkable to note, that every day on Earth is another opportunity to better your situation. COMFORT FOOD FOR THOUGHT is things can ALWAYS be worst. So rather than complain try to do something about what’s wrong. Yea you got a job, you’re not making all the money you want, but that time you spending complaining you can pick up a side hustle or try to work on a promotion. Everybody has their own issues but where the line of division lies is between those working on solutions, and those just complaining and waiting for problems to fix themselves. Broke is having too much month at the end of the money. BUDGET, there are assets and there are liabilities. I’m not here to judge so I’ll cover all walks of life. Instead of spending so much money at the bar- cop a bottle and kick back in the crib or maybe kick the habit all together. Smokers that have their phones being cut off- can’t even call the bud man- because they rather cop than prioritize, you’re looking real foolish. If you have children, please realize that they are growing and Jordan’s aren’t a necessity if you’re working for minimum wage. I think its Lupe who said “Work like a Mexican, Spend like a White man”. If you have the means to splurge, then knock yourself out. But having to make life decisions between your next meal and a high end fashion item is the exact reason why some of you have more complaints than good news to share. I’m stressing finances because that’s the most common complaint if not the underlying cause of a complaint. The point of this rant is to give my interpretation of the quote I started with. What I feel it means is seek solutions to your problems rather than complaining.  The time that I realized that a person’s relentless determination to seek a solution to a problem can bring about a lot of success is after watching Lorenzo’s Oil. The movie is basically a story about a child who develops a rare disease (ALD). After his parents are told that there are no doctors capable of treating it, they set out to do research and eventually end up finding treatments that help the boy live longer than the time given after his diagnosis. I’ll end with this quote “Nobody trips over mountains.  It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble.  Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.”  - Author Unknown

SPOTLIGHT

This weeks spotlight is on a friend of mine from Highschool.He's one of the few people that I keep in touch with from those years. He goes by the name Conflik. You can follow him on twitter and instagram @Conflik.He's been making music for God knows how long. He's played multiple roles from being a manager, producing, and over all he's pretty  self  sufficient. He was recently a guest on Brooklyn colleges Ovatime radio  ( twitter: @ovatimeradio www.mywbcr.com 8PM-10PM on Wednesday's, check them out ). He runs with a team with other lyrically inclined individuals and they call themselves Louder. Their music speaks volumes, pun intended. His latest project is available for download on datpiff.com titled More Money More Conflik #MMMC. Take a listen and keep it real!.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBEiZcpurtU&sns=em

Are you Socially FIT OR a Social MisFIT?

Facebook, Instgram and Twitter= F.I.T

Are you Socially FIT OR a Social MisFIT?

Social networks- the home of Catfish, Cyber Bullies, Depressed individuals, Those seeking attention (Thirst Trappers), The bored and lonely (Usually thirst trapees) , Hopeless Romantics, Mr. and Ms. Mixy, Creeps, Stalkers, Aspiring artist, Entrepreneurs, “Enlightened Thinkers”  and every other classification imaginable for humans these days. Three of the most popular sites right now are Facebook (dying a slow and painful death), Instagram (Thriving off memes and thirst), and Twitter (The playground where the wrong tweet will put your mentions in shambles).

The thing about these sites is the wrong move can skew your followers or “friends” either way (in a negative or positive direction).  I purposely put “Friends” in quotations. I’m happy that Facebook finally realized that not all of us are actual friends on these sites.  I’m not sure if some of you noticed when you friend request someone now, they actually ask you to choose whether you are an acquaintance, close friend, or don’t know the person. I say If you’re looking for love, there are sites for that. Match.com, ChristianSinglesMeet.com, BlackPeopleMeet.com the list goes on. And if you’re looking for sex I hear there are sites for that too. Don’t go Facebook stalking people you don’t know! I don’t care if someone you know, “knows” them. Don’t use mutual friends as plugs for your shenanigans ESPECIALLY IF YOU DIDNT ASK.

At the end of the day these people that you allow access into part of your life, whether it be real or fake, will love you, then they’ll hate you, and then they’ll love you again. Using these sites, you can either go with the flow or do your own thing. I’m going to do you a favor and tell you which sites are best for what. Now for those of you who use all three of these popular sites, we’re going to find out are you Socially FIT or a Social MisFIT? DISCLAIMER: This is based on my personal perception, you don’t have to agree BUT all feedback is welcome.

Facebook: If you’re looking for sympathy, looking to be sympathetic, trying to play internet games, can’t remember a friend’s birthday, want to know who broke up, who’s engaged, who’s in a complicated situation, or want to get a glance at upcoming parties from your favorite promoter, you came to the right place. Facebook is a good place for all of these things. although this wasn't its initial purpose. Keeping in touch with family members and old friends of all ages is easiest on FB also.

 ***Here's a Tip if you insist on meeting strangers (this goes for any site)...***

Instagram: For some reason IG misFITs don’t realize there are sites that let you express yourself through words. So instead, they write these thoughts in a note pad and screenshot or in a tweetgram and pollute news feeds. Instagram, to my knowledge, was supposed to be a PICTURE sharing site where you can like and comment on PICTURES of things and people- not words. IG is the place where if you weren’t invited to the festivities from last night, the pictures will show you how much fun you missed (even if it wasn’t fun). Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner will make you either want to lick your screen or throw up. People show off how much money they have, post party promos, show how much the’re in love, and #ThirstTraps. Pictures of soft porn nudies that say “Studying” or “New earrings” …yea, right.

Twitter: The best place to watch shows and be online, witness slander otherwise considered cyber bullying, you can buy sell trade merchandise, promo any and everything from your newly found single life or share how much you believe females/males aren’t shit. Twitter is definitely survival of the fittest. And they made it so easy to be a creep. The DM feature is a tool of Lucifer. Some think that it stands for Direct Message but it stands for Devil Made, or Damn Ma, or Dis Muhf*... nevermind ya'll get the point. Misfits on here get no retweets, no replies, no favorites and no followers. The jocks have hundreds and thousands of followers that hang on to their ever word. Its a tough world that'll either make you or break you.

                               

All in all, Men Lie, Women Lie, Followers don’t. I think that the ratio of socially fit individuals, to social misfits on these social sites is what makes them fun at the end of the day.

And honestly we're all guilty of being a misfit at some point during our social networking career.

“Exercise your social networking skills so that you can stay socially fit!”
SPOTLIGHT

Honestly very few people read anymore. I graduated and tried not to read anything but my news feeds and text messages. Truth is there are alot of blogs out there that have thought provoking articles for those of you that can't get away from your electronics. When I say thought provoking it literally means anything that can stimulate your thoughts. Here are a few links to some Fashion blogs, Music Blogs, Media blogs, and just straight up entertainment. I support people that aren't letting their minds and talents go to waste. You should do the same.

http://www.kadeesh.com/

http://mjbtheone.blogspot.com/

http://www.beenalabella.com/

http://www.ameerahshay.com/

http://theshopblog.net/

http://www.skydemeanor.com/

http://virginfingertips.blogspot.com/

friEND zone

Fri(end) Zone: The land of no return

As a male, personally, there are a few phrases that can come from a female that I hope never to hear/read. I composed a list of my top 10.

1.  We need to talk. (RARELY a good talk otherwise we’d just talk)
2. That’s it? (Makes me feel like I’m lacking)
3. Wrong hole. (Usually means you almost had anal)
4. Who is she to you? (If she doesn't already know, this means its story time)
5. What do you love about me? (Got to compile a list that doesn't make you sound like a user)
6.  You choose. (Now if you make the wrong decision, you will be carrying all blame.)
7. Do what you want. (Usually means do what she wants or suffer consequences)
8. … (You've exceeded the allotted time to answer a text)
9. We need a break. (Means you messed up so bad she may potentially want to touch a new peen to know if yours is worth the drama)
10.   We should just be friends. (This basically means you’re out of the game, you’re out for the season, your contract has been voided, and your career is over, no severance, no nothin.)

The friend zone is the graveyard for the confidence of many males. You can get friend zoned without notice and it is as rare as finding an Asian female that can drive well for you to get out of the friend zone. One of the worst things about a friend zone is that you can be placed there after investing time and money into something that you thought was going to work. Dates, sex, cuddling, gifts, don’t put you in the clear of the friend zone; it can also happen after a full-fledged relationship. I've heard of males putting females in the friend zone but females are the most commonly found using this “tactic". I don’t understand it, and I never plan to try to understand it because of the rationale that I've received for being put in the friend zone. If I was told “I don’t find you attractive” I would be able to accept that. If I was told “I can’t date someone with your personality” this is also acceptable.  If I was told “your stroke is whack/ your dick is small” this is also valid reasoning for not wanting to pursue a relationship cause guys will 86 girls for whack box. BUT “you’re too nice of a guy”,  “you’re like a brother “, “I’ll just end up hurting you”, “I’ll miss our friendship” – all of these statements are compost, bullshit, fertilizer, sewage, poo, whatever word you want to use for fecal matter and waste. The friend zone breeds jerks and asshole because being the sweet understanding fun loving guy usually is what gets you there. Efforts to be Mr./Mrs. Right often get you there so you end up transforming into Mr./Mrs. Right-Now. In my personal experience, females that I friend zone are actually people I can be straight up with and say “I’m not interested”, “You’re not my type”, and if I contradict myself and say “you’re like a sister” 9 out of 10 times this means they’re related to a close friend of mine and or because of one of the previous reasons we've just platonically hung out so much that you’re really just a friend or “sister”.

A valid argument that has been presented is that the Friend Zoner thought they liked the Friend Zonee but after a date or two realized they’d be better off as friends. If this is the case, once again, keep it real and make that clear in your explanation. Don’t leave the person in the dark. To wrap this up, I say keep it real. If there’s someone else say so, don’t tell someone you’d rather them be a friend because they’re doing everything right. This only sews seeds for the emotionally & socially damaged world we live in.

SPOTLIGHT

I'm gonna start doing a section called the Spotlight. Here, i'll put the spotlight on someone talented doing whatever they do as some light promo. For the first week I want to put the spotlight on a very talented friend of mine. He's not just another dude rapping, I don't cosign people I don't believe in. Goes by the name of "Crimes Da God", check out his latest music video that is shot by another talented individual (KP) both of whom I've had the pleasure of hanging out with in college. Coming out of Brooklyn, he got a mixtape coming out, look out for that "True Crimes". Subscribe, leave feedback, and of course keep it real.

Artist

IG: @crimesdagod

Twitter: @crimesdagod

Videographer

IG: @quick421

Twitter: @quick421

Obey Your Thirst

Obey Your Thirst

We are in the times where it is almost impossible to find a significant other without being self-conscious. The rules of engagement are so extensive that it’s easier to just make someone up than to meet and build with someone new.  We are in the age of DM’s, Screenshots, & Thirst Traps. Chivalry isn’t dead, it is on life support and many are trying to pull the plug. We are in the times of compliments equating to thirst, the wrong instagram like can be punishable by death, improper use of an emoji can land you in the hospital, and one has to choose their words oh so carefully when posting a comment. Some call it game, but these days the overall term for most of the aforementioned actions is “Thirst”.

The rule book has changed. I remember the days when flattery expressed interest. It was an attempt for the general population to try to keep away from the fri(end) zone. [Fri(end) zone post to come] And when the flattery was reciprocated it generally meant advancement to further courting stages.  For those of you unclear of the thirst definition, I pulled it from a credible source. Nah, not wiki, I got it from urbandictionary.com

Thirst:

• A form of lust of or want of members of the opposite sex(or same sex these days). This term can refer to both males and females.
• Very eager to say or do something Being unbelievably motivated by an outside stimulus... so much in fact it consumes your entire life
• Desire, greed, obsession, or lust for an object or person characterized by over eagerness or obsessiveness that is obvious to everyone around you.

I feel it’s safe to say we’ve done this to ourselves. Many of us have been toyed with, used, abused, hurt, and deceived so much that now we are currently in Sparta. Everyone has their defenses up to the point everything is characterized as a sexual advance. So the genuine people can’t get a break and scum is forced to find new methods of infiltration. These “sexual advances” include smiles, HI’s or any other greeting (beware of excess Y’s in your “Hey”), blinking, breathing, glancing, basically anything you do in the presence of the opposite sex is currently thirst #twitterlogic.  What it comes down to is thirst generally doesn’t get characterized as such if interest is reciprocated. Furthermore I believe the real thirst is actually the excess of anything. Moderation is perfection, don’t overdo it, but don’t under do it. The moderation varies from situation to situation though. I say this because some people have relationships where their world revolves around their significant other, so constant contact is a necessity. If that’s your situation then excess calls, texts and such is a go… FOR YOU. Others try to maintain some type of life outside of their relationship. This includes having work, school, and other engagements that may divert their attention from time to time from their relationship. So if their him/her is constantly seeking undivided attention then that’s not going to work. If you’re dating a social person who is attractive, you will notice a level of what I’d agree is thirst in others. People will constantly like and comment on this persons every move. The person will tweet “Hi” and a thirsty person will be overdoing it in their mentions with a “LMAOOOOO yoooo you said hi #weak” -_-. Don’t get insecure or defensive because the reply and attention this person wants is from YOU and the unwanted attention means nothing. All the other compliments are cool but it means nothing if the main squeeze isn’t checking for you. Thirst usually gets exploited through screenshots. These days some of the screenshots are fabricated. Personally I feel that the screenshot exploitation is doing the poster a disservice cause now if you decide you like someone they’re going to be real cautious with interactions with you in fear that they may be next to be put on blast. When it comes to social networks 9 out of 10 people aren’t who they’re depicting, the World Wide Web is a sea of catfish. To wrap this up, I feel like rather than constantly having our defenses up we need a filter to discern a genuine compliment, whether it be because the person is interested or is just complimenting, from those who just trying to see what’s good for the moment(Mr/Mrs Right vs Mr/Mrs Right NOW). Weed out the potential relationships from potential relations below the hips.